You've provided an example of the negative porn stigma. I assume you're saying that porn harms children? and then you provide an example of being sexually abused? I am sorry to hear that, but what does that have to do with porn? Porn didn't do the abusing. And I'll go out on a limb and say that sexual child abuse was far, far worse before porn in it's current form existed.

Hm. Perhaps I am conflating concepts. Point taken.

Am I for total bans? Well, I'm here talking about this with you so I'd think not. The crux of what I'm getting at is overabundance of porn too early in life is as least as jarring to development of kids as is growing up sheltered & isolated. In both cases there is no real parental feedback nor guidance to ensure a healthy point of view about it.

Cue the argument "It's fiction and it isn't going to make anyone do anything that wasn't already likely to do so anyways". This is true for adults who've developed enough maturity to objectively make their own choices. The same cannot be said for kids for viewing all types of erotica. Parental regulation is a midpoint between the two extremes.
What I'm saying is I do not mind some 'barriers' of sorts since, as a practical matter, some parents just won't guide their offspring to maturity (give a shit).

As to your other point, however, yes I do think there is a bit of a "sweep it under the rug" bullshit mentality that supports the hostile/shamed attitude towards porn which hampers us in our aims.

Though considering as a matter of marketing, I think part of the draw in western countries is that very element of taboo, that it's bad and wrong. It does appeal to people and attract customers if you give that discreet "on the down low" vibe. Seems preactically everywhere I go with 18+ advisory when I turn off adblock they're advertising
"Milfs want cock"
"your prude spouse will hate this site–just message and ask to fuck"
"these women want to fuck in secret, no strings attached" and
"legal teen daughters want older guys".
...and then of course half the time I'm flooded with ads for 3D porn video sites. :D
On the positive, there's opportunity one way or another for the most part.