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  • In the Ladies of Lust Unleashed, and even G4E, there were character sheets that explained a bit of the background information. To support a set of images, especially those that won't have talking balloons, I understand this. For fiction, I would be more inclined to pepper it in the story.

    But then again… who doesn't read the synopsis on the back of the book before you read it? If it's a very simple intro in that style, I doubt that would hurt anything at all.



  • Thanks for the feedback, Mr. D! I'm in the process of deciding whether I want to tease that out over the course of the story, or just do a character sheet for our heroine and other relevant characters. Feedback would be welcome!



  • I missed this thread the first time. I am glad I have found it.

    I liked both versions of the opening story. I am surprised how different the two versions are. Whenever I rewrite, I find myself writing roughly the exact same thing. You evidently don't have this problem. This will be to your benefit.

    I think you will be very good at crafting a character-based piece of erotica. Even with this small entry, you've shown a clear view of this woman's desires. I think it will greatly benefit from some expansion as to who this woman is. We know her race, hair color and general body type. (I actually could stand to have more specificity in the descriptions of her body, but I'm the guy who likes to know the actual measurements of the cocks, if possible, so I might be alone in that one.)

    What we don't currently know is her age, her career status, what city she lives in, whether it's an apartment or house, what her hobbies are (other than watching porn, of course)… I think we can assume she is single, at least bisexual and that she lives alone, as hilarious as it would be for her roommate to walk in on her fellating herself.

    It is brave to start a story about a woman growing a cock with the same up-front determination as Metamorphosis turned its protagonist into an insect. Nevertheless, every intervening detail you provide in new updates will help her feel more rounded and real. You already seem to be able to make a character with interesting and erotic inner thoughts, so I think this will be no trouble for you at all.

    I would use each entry to add just a little information to her background or her personal life. If it won't fit in a natural way, you don't have to do it, but each story should have more motivation than the end result, i.e. "she finally tries anal." Nevertheless, finding the chase and cutting straight to it can also be fun.

    I am legitimately quite interested to see where this goes.

    -- D.



  • Much later than I intended to post this, thanks to RL. I have an updated version of Chapter 1 posted at the tumblr in my sig. The content is only as far as Jess giving herself the handjob, but I've added enough description that it comes out to about the same length.



  • Thanks for the feedback, ammon!

    @'ammon17':

    I'm the sort who prefers more details. Descriptions on your character's body and personality. I see that you wanted to keep it brief, so it works for a one-off. If you continue with more chapters, further descriptive development is vital… at least to 'my' boner.

    Do you have any examples of the level of description you prefer? I do plan to put more detail in future installments. The glossing-over this time around is partly because it's a short chapter; I try to be a "show, don't tell" type, and I just haven't had much word count with which to show.

    The other reason I've kept the descriptions light is that if I spend paragraphs upon paragraphs describing the scenery instead of telling the story, I find I get bogged down and lose the motivation to write. I haven't ruled out going back and revising later, though.



  • It's pretty good. I've noticed the amount of self-suck futa content has skyrocketed since the release of G4E DLCs… which is fine cuz it's always hot. Here's hoping this new cock is her expanded clitoris.

    Your grammar is legit. No typos holding back the eye... or mind.

    I'm the sort who prefers more details. Descriptions on your character's body and personality. I see that you wanted to keep it brief, so it works for a one-off. If you continue with more chapters, further descriptive development is vital... at least to 'my' boner.





  • Thanks Kully! I'll update this thread when I have the first chapter posted.



  • That sounds very interesting ad appealing to me, I will be looking forward to hearing more.


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