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I have a note with directions how to access all of my stories and instructions to have them published as well as some stuff I've written to my immediate family and close friends for when that time comes, just to say some things that I wanted to say and have some things known I wanted to be known after I'm gone.
Anyways, that said, I have no intention of dying. I intend to live forever! If it comes down to it, I'll have myself cryogenically frozen before accepting death and defeat. Of course, that's a bit silly since our current cryogenics is pretty pathetic and there's close to no chance of ever being revived, but hey… it's better than nothing. Who knows, you could be revived hundreds of years from now and step into a Futurama like scenario. Hell, I'd love to be in a world hundreds of years from now.
On top of all that, my friends are very different from one another - they'd never end up meeting due to different interests, and many of them wouldn't like the others for various reasons.
I have that problem.
One is an ex addict of heroin and I'm checking on him every few days because he doesn't have but maybe two other friends. None of them able to check on him as often. I dread walking in on him with a needle on his arm again.
One has been raked over the coals by his ex gf. He doesn't make enough for child support, and I know she'd spend it all on herself. His issues are social meanwhile. His foster dad had PTSD and whacked him in the head with a shovel when he was 8, and has seizures as a result. You ever gotten an emergency call from your 6'3" 245 lb friend who had a seizure and fell down a flight of stairs? Got pulled over on the way to the ER, thought that cop was gonna nail me to the wall for numerous "violations" since that particular officer and I had a long history of butting heads.
One is a gambler. He's a party animal. Not sure how he manages. He's helped me outta rough spots before, but he's a shark.
I often feel like I have the makings of anoher GTA game with my constant circus.
"Its weird thinking about how online communities work.
You might think that if you stop seeing someone online that it just means they've stopped playing for whatever reason, and moved on to other stuff. But they could actually be dead, and you'd never find out about it."
If you're in America, live in the suburbs, are anywhere where walking is not an option and public transportation is difficult, or public gatherings are not common to the level of an every day event, then everywhere is "online".
I don't have one. My computers all have passwords on them so no one can get in. Most if not all of the online groups I spend time on are closed, private, or not known / disrespected by the public (i.e. 3DX, 4chan). On top of all that, my friends are very different from one another - they'd never end up meeting due to different interests, and many of them wouldn't like the others for various reasons.
I'd like to have one, but I don't know how to code my computer to do such a thing. Is it even possible? I guess it'd need to be in ~the cloud~ or something like that. Conceptually it's just a "if not checked in within X timeframe, put out this message".
Have a blog though, and most people who are close to me know about it or someone who knows about it. I think it speaks honestly and fully enough for me to not worry about not having any plans in particular.
People would miss me. Probably fondly. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to be remembered in such a good way…
Which raises the question of how I live my life. How I really live. What it's all worth.
Sure I can keep secrets. There's a lot of them. I just try to make sure they aren't the kind that kill me on the inside. Even so, there's no way around regret.
No, I don't have a plan. Life is so short, there's barely enough time to learn how to live. I'm not sure if my great grandmother in her 103 years ever learned. Can't speak for her siblings, sister died at 102, brother died at 104. I think my great grandma did learn but I don't know. for sure. Can't waste time letting it bother me.
That is what makes 8 hour trips in the car seem to go so much faster. It's kind of dreadful how fast it goes. When you try to enjoy it and relax, it never, never ever, seems long enough.
Not really sure about a death plan. There's just so much I haven't done yet.
I don't think anyone would miss me enough to care
I think so too, perhaps my direct family would miss me the rest… well I'm not sure if they even would notice.
I don't think anyone would miss me enough to care
When Im gone, Im gone. I dont consider myself important enough that many ppl would care for more than the occasional "oh, the poor sod", until they just carry on and flock to the next thing they like
So nope, no plans for me.